Wednesday, February 10, 2016

200,000 Hits / Thank You

The blog just crossed 200,000 hits. I don't know what that means. I've replayed the number in my hundreds of times now trying to think of what it means exactly. Here is what I've concluded. If I had gone on to doctoral school and published some papers in a sociology quarterly as an academic, even if I was a good one, 200,000 people would never have read what I had to say. In some ways, I feel really vindicated knowing that.

I don't really have words to describe how grateful I am to know people read this. I'll be honest, I don't think anyone is ever reading. I tell myself that when I write. It's the only way I can suspend all of the deep-seeded insecurities I have long enough to write something and hit publish. The whole Justified Arrogance moniker is a big joke. Anybody who knows me, knows I am the most insecure and self-conscious person you'll ever meet. If someone had told me my writing was no good when I started, I would have stopped.

If you guys will indulge me for a moment, I'll tell you a story about how Justified Arrogance came to be and why knowing people reading this means so much to me.

I started writing Justified Arrogance in August of 2014. I didn't do it trying to make a name in journalism. I didn't do it because I wanted to flex knowledge on people. I didn't do it to groom future hardcore kids and punks. No. The original reason I started Justified Arrogance was because I needed it.

In July 2014, I came back to my parents' house in Maryland after spending three months in Los Angeles. It was in Los Angeles that I lost myself, was beaten with verbal abuse almost daily, I realized I was in love and then had to deal with the heartbreak of losing that person. At my parents' house, decompressing and in social isolation, I began to unravel. I was trying to cope while facing the growing pressure of finishing writing my TV series. All the while, I tried desperately and hopelessly to prove my love was worth acceptance. I fell into my own subconscious. I had nothing left. Do you know when you have nothing? When yesterday never existed, you're numb to today, and tomorrow is just a word.

I spent most of August 2014 waiting by the phone. When you know why you're waiting for someone to call, it feels like forever. Prisons come in many shapes and forms. Waiting by the phone for a call you don't think is coming is one I don't wish on anyone. Much in the way inmates wait for the day their time will come for freedom from their prisons, I tried finding anything to pass the time. I saw a thread on some social media group for younger kids looking for new music. I had a ton of music on my computer and nothing but time so I started posting links with brief explanations of the bands. That was honestly it. The thread got deleted and kids kept messaging me for links. I had a leftover blog and took what I was doing there. As pathetic as this sounds, that kept me going for that month. I started writing about bands I had grown up with like Power Trip and Iron Age. The blog got more personal. And that was that, I had a format. 

All a writer ever has are words. That's it. We do our best with what language allows us to use to make our feelings and convictions clear. Most of the time it is because we fail to make those clear across other avenues. We're mutes that life afforded us an outlet to. At the end of the day, all they are is just words. People give those words life. They laugh and cry and discuss what you've written and that means those words don't just exist in your head or on paper anymore. Your words connected with someone. For someone who doesn't feel connected with almost anyone, knowing that my words connected with someone, now and after I'm gone, matters.

Justified Arrogance wasn't a claim I made to be cocky. It was a claim I made to stay alive. That sounds stupid but I can't sit here and tell you I would have survived that first month without it. I escaped back to Dallas in October 2014 where I used the writing from here to get a freelance gig with the Dallas Observer. I used that to get noticed by Noisey and used that to make friends east where I would move to in January 2015. Justified Arrogance gave me a reason to want to live again.

Special thanks to Jay Chary, Hayden Robertson, and Jakke Sullivan for contributing to this blog. Thank you to Riley Gale, Matthew Adis, Jake Ballesteros, Luke Kislak for doing interviews and profiles with us. Thanks to anyone who has ever consulted on a list. Thank you to the other blogs who share our link. Lastly, thank you to the kid who recognized me in line for the Isterismo after show during New York's Alright last year. You told me you liked my writing and it was the first time a stranger ever acknowledged any of this. Between that and the company I was with, it was honestly the best feeling I will ever have, so thank you.

Thank you to anyone who has ever read this, shared it with anyone, that loved or hated it

- James Khubiar

4-31

Friday, February 5, 2016

Artist Profile: Jake Ballesteros

Jake Ballesteros has worked with your favorite bands and you don't even know it. For almost a decade, the Austin-based artist has worked with the likes of Power Trip (Ballesteros has become de facto resident artist for the watershed thrash band), No Warning, and Iron Age. Over the last few years, Ballesteros' art has continued to grow and evolve along with the bands he works with. This is why a lot of bands feel so comfortable working with him over time. It is a special relationship when a band keeps referring to the same artist. It means that the artist is able to see what the band sees and is able to put those ideas to paper. If you're in a band and you've ever commissioned something, you know how frustrating it can be communicating your ideas to an artist. It can be even more frustrating trying to find an artist who encapsulates those ideas perfectly in a visual presentation. This is true with Joe Petagno and Motorhead, Antichrist Kramer and Inquisition, and few others. Ballesteros' biggest strength is the ability to take concepts and, through his vision, create illustrations that really evoke the necessary reactions from them.

Originally from the beach town of Corpus Christi, Texas, Ballesteros had made a home in Austin for the last decade. On his passion for art, Ballesteros comments, "art has been apart of my life since i could walk, all through out grade school i looked forward to art class, or drawing cartoon like renderings of my friends at lunch. my fascination with comics and cartoons was endless, I'm not the biggest reader unfortunately, never was, but the illustrations on book covers, and the graphic details of comics had me judging books by the cover for sure." His influences include Alphonse Mucha, Aubrey Bearsley, Brian Schroeder (more commonly known as Pushead), and Florian Bertmer. Ballesteros credits these artists with their "unique style and attention to detail challenge me to push the design, to add and add and add, cracks and hairs and folds blood splatter and drips."

Ballesteros is available for commission and can be contacted at drewaskullonce@gmail.com






Thursday, February 4, 2016

New Band Spotlight: Indignation

Featuring members of Infernoh, Perdition, and Nomad, Indignation are New York City's newest champions of the raw punk sound. Following in the lineage of contemporary punk greats Perdition and fellow NYC noise punk rippers Zatuson, Indignation picks up where they left off. The band's demo is a full on d-beat noise assault. It does not let up from its blown out vocals, grating drums, and surgical hits of noise. More importantly, the people behind this band have made it clear through their careers that this is what they do and who they are. Indignation is not a sonic experiment so much as it is a lesson in the genre. With the band's pedigree on full display, it is evident from the outset that Indignation are poised to become one of punk's more beloved bands in the near future.

Outside of the demo's tape circulation, their live performances, and word of mouth discussion, Indignation have received little notice from the rest of the country. While Indignation spent much of the 2015's second half tearing apart shows with the likes of Severed Head of State (the band's first show) and Aspects of War, the band's profile has remained relatively quiet. When both the Framtid NYC show as well as the Death Side shows were announced, Indignation's inclusion left many everywhere asking the simple question: "who is Indignation and why are they on these shows?" Indignation is the future. If you don't already know, you will soon enough.

Punk's best kept secret won't be for very much longer.

This was the best demo from 2015.

Available exclusively from Justified Arrogance in digital form; special thanks to the band for allowing us to put it up

http://www.mediafire.com/download/9s5ij3d4jo860vy/Indignation.rar

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Disfear

Sweden has two proud subculture traditions: d-beat and death metal.

D-beat and crust have a very special connection to the metal world. There's a reason why there is always a heavy crust presence at the Maryland Death Fest (a fact which became comedy in 2013 when Phil Anselmo asked that security confiscate all bullet belts for fear of being assassinated). There is a reason why a lot of crust bands bear a metallic tint to their sound. It isn't supernatural that so much of the earliest crust scene in the UK made the leap to metal. Napalm Death, Bolt Thrower, Sacrilege are just a few of the bands that would find their beginnings in the British crust scene only to arrive in the metal world. The same can be said for Discharge who, while not crust per say, would become a crossover act by the mid 80s with the release of their polarizing album Grave New World. In the USA, much of the crust scene has strong connections to metal's sonic and visual aesthetic with bands like His Hero Is Gone, Hellshock, and Stormcrow being prime examples. It is no coincidence then that labels like Earache (oft considered one of the premier metal labels in the world) had early catalogs that were connected to the British crust punk scene. Metal seems to be a natural progression for d-beat and crust punk.

This natural progression was also evident in Sweden. By the late 80's / early 90's, the country's death metal exploded. There were dozens and dozens of quality death metal bands producing demos and then moving on. Some would go on to become headline acts like Entombed, Dismember, Carnage, and Grave. Even in the early going it was clear that these bands bore a punk influence. Entombed's earliest incarnation, Nihilist, used d-beats and showed what a fusion between the two looked like in the Scandinavian country. Sweden's death metal scene is so essential and expansive that its only comparison can be to the New York hardcore scene of the same era. There is virtually no throwaway during this time period. Every demo is required listening. Every piece of ephemera and anecdote worth catalog and discussion. This point is driven home by the fact that there have been two books written to exclusively discuss the Swedish death metal scene. The first is Swedish Death Metal by Daniel Ekeroth and the other Encyclopedia of Svensk Dods Metall by Nicola Constantini (this fabulous volume exclusively covers Swedish death metal demos from 1988-1992 only). Sweden's scene did not take the big plunge into the realm of metal like the UK did. Rather the two scenes stayed relatively divorced from one another. Outside of Anti-Cimex's Scandinavian Jawbreaker which featured a cleaner sound and bore some elements of thrash to it, the punk scene continued to do its own thing.

Enter Disfear.

Forming around 1989, Disfear took elements from both crust and death metal scenes to effectively reinvent the Swedish sound. It is from Disfear's influence that we have seen the likes of Martyrdod, Warcollapse, Wolfpack (now Wolfbrigade), and countless others. Disfear simply took the things that made the Swedish death metal scene so effective such as ferocious / anxious vocals and pummeling drums and put them into the arena of d-beat punk. The result added new dimensions to the genre's sound. First, it took the genre's immortal war aesthetic and added vocal inflection of legitimate horror and dread to it. When bands like Discharge talked about war, it wasn't a sight to behold so much as it was a political point to be made. Taking the vocal inflection of a genre whose primary aesthetic is the morbid and macabre and applying it to lyrics about the reality of war was a logical and appropriate connection that Disfear made. The second thing Disfear did was place more emphasis on the drums. While the band's first release, a self-titled EP, didn't actualize this vision, the band's second release, A Brutal Sight Of War EP realized the band's original goal for the drums. On A Brutal Sight of War, the band weaponizes its drums. The drum mix is turned up and its sound lowered. The band wanted the drums front and center to use as artillery. Much like in death metal, the goal of the drums is to put a beating on the listener. In most genres, drums are used to keep the rhythm and beat going, but in death metal the drums have been used to impose the band's tone rather than simply keep it.

Arriving on the scene in Sweden, the band would tour with much of Sweden's metal royalty such as Entombed and Dismember. This happened in part because the band did not have many sonic contemporaries in Sweden at the time. Another innovation made by Disfear was the shift from political commentary on war to the fatalistic and psychological impacts war makes. Again, the band's lyrics also showed influence from the realm of death metal. Gone were the cries for peace and protest against government warmongers and replaced by the resignation that the war was lost. The band's debut LP Soul Scars spells this out perfectly. Themes of psychological trauma and irrevocably broken lives from war replaced the politically charged battle cries that Discharge once made. The band's next album Everyday Slaughter, released in 1997, would prove to be the band's swansong as the entity it began as. The band would lose drummer Robin Wiberg and, more importantly, its original vocalist Jeppe Lerjeurd. While Tomas Linberg (of At The Gates fame) would be Lerjeurd's replacement, the band was never really the same following the 1998 departure of Wiberg and Lerjeurd.

http://www.mediafire.com/download/zoh60rdejde2e1d/Disfear.rar

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Top 30 Hardcore Punk Vocalists Of All Time

The criteria are the following: stage presence, vocal and lyrical quality. Length of quality was also taken into account. Another factor, as the frontman is ultimately the voice of the band promoting any kind of aesthetic or platform the band may have, the band's legacy is also considered. Special thank you to Will Mecca (of Paranoid Anxieties), Nick Lucchesi, Chris Ulsh, Mark Bronzino (of Iron Reagan) and Luke Kislak (of Eel, The Decapitators) for consulting on the formation of this list.

Honorable Mentions:

John Weiffenbach (Void)
Carl Fisher (Blitz)
Jules Masse (Side By Side)
Zack De La Rocha (Inside Out)
Daryl Kahan (Citizens Arrest)
Scott Vogel (Terror, Buried Alive)
Human Warhead (Pisschrist, Kromosom)
Jimmy Rose (Annihilation Time)
Freddy Madball (Madball)
Steve Ignorant (Crass)
Lou Koller (Sick Of It All)
Ryan George (Carry On)
Roger Miret (Agnostic Front)
Tommy Carroll (Straight Ahead)
Chris Ulsh (Impalers, Mammoth Grinder)
Jason O'Toole (Life's Blood)
Sothira Pheng (Crucifix)
Doc Corbin Dart (The Crucifucks)
Dave Insurgent (Reagan Youth)
Chaka Malik (Burn)
Chris Erba (H-100s, Ruiners, Upstab, Avon Ladies)
Mike "Judge" Ferraro (Judge)
Keith Morris (Black Flag, Circle Jerks)
Jack Control (World Burns To Death, Severed Head of State)
Paul Bearer (Sheer Terror)
Richie Birkenhead (Underdog, Into Another)
Carl "The Mosher" Griffin (Icemen, Dynamo)
Crow (Crow, Grave New World)
Jeff Perlin (Breakdown, Slumlords)
Tony Erba (Gordon Solie Motherfuckers, Face Value, Fuck You Pay Me)
Kawakami (Disclose)
Mauro Codeluppi (Raw Power)
Pushead (Septic Death)
Fugu (Gauze)
Eddie Sutton (Leeway)
Paul E. Wog (Cider, Inmates)
Tomas Jonsson (Anti-Cimex, Wolfpack)
Alex Hughes (Hatred Surge, Put To Death)
Brendan Radigan (The Rival Mob, Soul Swallower, Battle Ruins)
Jack "Choke" Kelly (Negative FX, Slapshot)
Human Furnace (Ringworm)
Rob Miller (Amebix)
Brendan Rafftery (SFA)
Tokurow (Bastard, Judgement)
Jason Tarpey (Iron Age, Far From Breaking)


30. Ben Cook (No Warning)

29. Damian Abraham (Fucked Up)

28. Lynda "Tam" Simpson (Sacrilege)

27. John Joseph (Cro-Mags)

26. Ray Cappo (Youth of Today, Better Than A Thousand)

25. Sean McCabe (Ink & Dagger)

24. Justin "DFJ" DeTore (Mind Eraser, No Tolerance)

23. Raymond "Raybeez" Barbieri (Warzone)

22. Jerry A (Poison Idea)

21. Todd Burdette (His Hero Is Gone, Tragedy, Warcry)

20. Darby Crash (Germs)

19. Shaun Dean (Cold Sweat, Men's Interest, Repercussions)

18. Ishiya (Forward, Death Side)

17. Wes Eisold (American Nightmare)

16. Gary Floyd (The Dicks)

15. Dwid Hellion (Integrity)

14. Kelvin "Cal" Morris (Discharge)

13. Jay Reatard (The Reatards, Lost Sounds)

12. Nick Blinko (Rudimentary Peni)

11. Joe DeNunzio (Infest)

10. Glenn Danzig (Misfits, Samhain)

9. Ian MacKaye (Minor Threat, Fugazi)

8. Henry Rollins (Black Flag, Rollins Band, S.O.A.)

7. Sakevi (G.I.S.M.)

6. Martin Sorrondeguy (Limp Wrist, Los Crudos)

5. Greg Sage (Wipers)

4. Joey Ramone (The Ramones)

3. John Brannon (Negative Approach)

2. GG Allin

1. H.R. (Bad Brains)

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Weezer

All our lives we're conditioned to chase goals. We're taught to work toward these things like starting a family, becoming rich, and pursuing our passions. We believe that if we do this, our lives will have had purpose, fulfillment, and direction. The trouble is that all of this is an illusion. There is no textbook definition of what gives our lives meaning, no true north. We're born into this world searching for something and most of us spend its entirety hoping to find it, often coming up short. The reality is that we're just drifting, passing time, and existing until our time comes and we can look back and ask "did I make it?" The story of Weezer involves the asking and answering of this question. It is about a band who started out lost, decided they were found, and have feigned being lost ever since. It is a story about someone who brutally exposed himself for all the world to see, only to be rejected for his honesty then accept the things he hated for comfort.

I'm only going to talk about the first two Weezer records (Blue and Pinkerton) as they are the most pertinent. The story of Weezer is really only worth telling after a little after the second album is released. After Pinkerton the band's persona morphs into the cookie cutter, alternative rock by numbers band that has caused today's audiences to sneer at the mere mention of their name. To this point, when I informed a friend I wanted to write about Weezer, he expressed shock that I was even a fan. It has been twenty years since the band produced anything of note so it is no surprise that the band's importance has faded. It is interesting how Weezer is digested within the sonic discourse today. There are the normos who love "Buddy Holly" and even go into Weezer's much later discography. In a sense, these are the people who never understood what the band was trying to do with their music. These were the people who turned on Rivers after the release of Pinkerton. These are the people who listen to Blue, hearing catchy songs and pay no thought to them. 

Blue is an album that represents a lot of us go through in life: the show we put on for people, the desire to escape from our lives, and some of our deepest insecurities coming through. It is an album that shows Rivers' revealing his jealous nature ("No One Else"), abandonment issues ("The World Has Turned"), and intrusive thoughts ("Only In Dreams"). The other side of the album was a self-aware Rivers expressing his desire to escape from himself. It's bizarre that on one album Rivers can recognize his flaws, but rather than write any type of song about overcoming them, he just says "I'm someone else now" or "I'm out of here". It does fit the immature and youthful sonic aesthetic of Blue, but it does illuminate a critical failing of Rivers' person (one that comes crashing in on Pinkerton). Songs like "Holiday", "Surf Wax America", and "Buddy Holly" put a spotlight on Rivers' desire to get away from himself. The fact that the band became such a runaway sensation despite the deep-seeded psychological themes of Blue is enigmatic (much like how the ravings of a heroin addict from Seattle were considered the voice of a generation). Perhaps this is a testament to how fucked up Generation X really was.

The standout song of the album is its final song "Only In Dreams". The song, clocking in at eight minutes, is a lethargic and despondent number about a literal dream girl. It talks about how this girl is the most real and existing person in our lives but only appears while we're asleep. A person who is both real but imaginary at the same time. The ultimate paradox. The part that has stuck out to me for years, ever since the first time I heard it, is the build to the song's climax. While I rarely discuss music itself as an emotional force, the build to the ending of "Only In Dreams" is where you will hear everything. For two minutes, you hear every single bit of thought, feeling, loss, struggle, pain, joy, happiness, anger, frustration... all of it. From the guitars which quietly sound listless and lost to the drums which keep building. It encapsulates the feeling of not knowing your place in life, where you're going, who you'll be with, and what you'll be doing while you try to beat at all of the negative energy hoping it will go away. The drumming on this part is some of the hardest I've heard from a non-aggressive rock act. It doesn't even sound angry. It just sounds desperate and almost hopeful. And the sad reality is that all of that hitting, no matter how hard, doesn't matter. The song tells you from the start it is hopeless. What you want isn't there. The song, much like the album, carries a double meaning. Maybe death is the answer, then we can sleep forever and be reunited with 'her' in an endless dream. The other side is that tells us to keep hitting and keep going because something will come from it. After this build, there is a final reprise of the song's chorus. After the preceding part, it almost sounds triumphant. As if to say there is a light at the end of the tunnel, or it could just mean that death came to pass after all (again, double meaning). The acrimonious bridge is clear, the final reprise is not.

The band's second album Pinkerton is an altogether bizarre affair. After the success of Blue, Rivers took his own advice and left to find himself. He enrolled to Harvard where he hoped that he could find a dose of reality (something he detailed in a b-side "Longtime Sunshine"). What he instead found was more of the social failings that led him to Blue. This time around, in large part because of an audience that enabled his expressiveness, Rivers left nothing on the table. What followed was Pinkerton. An album that included songs about Rivers fantasizing about a fifteen year old Japanese girl ("Across The Sea"; the label demanded he change the lyrics to 18 years old, but the line "I could never touch you, I think it would be wrong" remained), falling in love with a lesbian ("Pink Triangle"; includes the politically incorrect line "everyone's a little queer, why can't she be a little straight?"), and getting rejected by a girl in a Weezer shirt who didn't know who Rivers was ("El Scorcho").

On Pinkerton, all of Rivers' flaws fully come to bare. Gone are the catchy songs veiling his insecurities. Instead they are laid out for all the world to see. The result was rejection. The guy from the "Buddy Holly" video was apparently an obsessive pervert ("Across The Sea", "Tired of Sex") who was scared of everything ("Why Bother?") and hated himself ("The Good Life"). One does not look like the other. People wanted a cartoon character, a caricature and they hated Rivers for not giving it to them. They wanted the dork in the blazer to be a dork in a blazer. What they got was someone trapped inside himself and unable to reconcile it. The cathartic leap from Blue to Pinkerton is something that very few musicians have ever made. For all the platitudes made about Nirvana and other 90s bands, so many more are left unsaid about Weezer. What happened after the critical shelling Pinkerton took is a bizarre turn unto itself (detailed at length in Andy Greenwald's Nothing Feels Good). Rivers didn't turn on the album so much as he turned on himself. He blamed himself for being so honest and his failure as a songwriter to properly capture his feelings to song. In a way the same outside forces that shaped him into the mess that he was were the same ones criticizing him for being such a mess (the pains of pandering to the mainstream).

Blue and Pinkerton represent personal imperfection. They also represent a deep desire to try and bury that imperfection. It is easier to put on a blazer and pretend to be on the set of Happy Days than to fix yourself. It also shows that if you do a song and dance, the world will look passed your flaws because you're fun. They show that we should never be too honest about who we are to people. Flaws are problems, but so are people. More people knowing your problems will almost certainly mean more problems for you.

More than anything, these albums truly teach us about what feeling lost truly means. It isn't a tunnel we trudge through until we get to the light at the end. It is a desert we have to blindly navigate. Success is literally meaningless. If we make millions of dollars, we're not 'found' so much as we've arrived at a different point of the desert. There is no true place we can arrive at where we can declare 'we made it'. The next place we arrive at will look like the place we left in some form or fashion. Life is a giant problem. Relationships, work, money, friendship, school, and, most important of all, ourselves. The only constant is that we'll always have to keep sorting through our problems until the day when we're finally out of the desert. Is that even possible? I don't know. Weezer might have answered that question in "Only In Dreams".

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Top 10 NYHC EP's of All Time

Justified Arrogance loves NYHC. This is one of the more passe observations that can be made about this blog as time goes on. There could be two separate discussions made on best LPs ever and best demos (which equates to an academic dogfight). This list is for the top 10 EPs to ever come out of New York City. Special thanks to Jacob Duarte (Dress Code / The Pose / Narrow Head), Jose Mora (Gag / White Wards / Combat Knife / Mongrel), Sean Holland (Neutral Accents Zine), Jesse Gasface (No Parole / Criminal Intent) for consulting with the formation of this list.

Honorable Mentions:

Breakdown - Blacklisted
Confusion - Taste of Hate
Crippled Youth - Join The Fight
The Mob - Step Forward
Underdog - Underdog
Beastie Boys - Polly Wog Stew
Stimulators - Loud Fast Rules
Burn - Burn
Sheer Terror - Fall From Grace
Warzone - Lower East Side Crew
Side By Side - You're Only Young Once
Urban Waste - Urban Waste
Heart Attack - God Is Dead
Supertouch - What Did We Learn
Sick of It All - Sick of It All
Crown Of Thornz - Train Yard Blues
Alone In A Crowd - Alone In A Crowd
Citizen's Arrest - A Light In The Darkness

10. Straight Ahead - Breakaway

9. Judge - New York Crew

8. Madball - Ball of Destruction

7. Youth of Today - Can't Close My Eyes

6. Outburst - Miles To Go

5. Antidote - Thou Shalt Not Kill

4. Cause For Alarm - Cause For Alarm

3. Life's Blood - Defiance

2. The Abused - Loud And Clear

1. Agnostic Front - United Blood

Sunday, January 3, 2016

We found the flyer for the greatest show ever


This show happened on January 2nd, 1989. It was a benefit show for Agnostic Front frontman Roger Miret who was facing legal troubles. 

Special thanks to Brendan Rafferty for scanning this in.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Rest In Peace Lemmy Kilmister






It has been a really tough year.

I just found out about the passing of Ian Fraser Kilmister (affectionately known as Lemmy) a half hour ago. I spent half of the day making arrangements to see my grandfather, who is also on his way out, only to cap off my day with this news. In a lot of ways the stories are the same. People with a profound impact on my life, people who got to lead great lives themselves, and whose ending is something that I've been expecting for a little bit. It hasn't been an easy day.

I know that anytime these high profile deaths happen, people say "what does it matter to you? You didn't actually know them. You never met them." What's the point of music then? What's the point of going to shows? What's the point of any of this? Lemmy wasn't a guy I got to share a cigarette with ever, but that doesn't mean his existence didn't impact countless lives. His charisma, his personality, his music, the way he dressed, the way his voice sounded are all things we gravitated toward and wanted to be. I used to joke that I was smoking a pack a day because I wanted my voice to sound like Lemmy's. His existence mattered to me and his death matters to me and to you and to everyone else because the impacts he made mattered. We talk a lot about things like 'influence', 'heroes', and 'legends'. In the subculture, that begins and ends with Motorhead and Lemmy. There is an alpha and omega and it's him. It was, it is, and it ever shall be. There are benchmarks for how to live in this subculture and he laid a lot of them out for us. He taught us how to carry ourselves like made men doing what we wanted on our terms. He was a larger than life personality. He lived sex, drugs, and rock and roll the way it should be. He wasn't the braggart that the Rolling Stones or Led Zeppelin were about it. Lemmy's world was his and his friends'. What went on in it belonged to them, never for the outsiders. Partying like there's no tomorrow is not G7 on the jukebox. It isn't something you parlay into a role in Pirates of the Caribbean. It is something that you use toward personal exorcism, only sharing it with a select group of people who understand why you do it. That was how Lemmy lived. That's what Motorhead was about. That is what punk music is about. It isn't for everyone and it is self-destructive. He got it. He made it. To the initiated ones, "Lemmy is God" isn't just a quote from the movie Airheads, it's the honest truth.


I really don't know what to say about Lemmy that hasn't already been said or won't be said in the coming days. I once heard someone say during a eulogy that "there aren't enough words worthy enough to measure the departed person's impact and value". As a writer I like to pride myself on being able to find the words for any situation and circumstance. How do you sum up Lemmy? You can't. There aren't enough words worthy enough to measure his impact and value. I've been writing this whole time and I haven't said anything that really measures what Lemmy meant to this whole subculture. He influenced countless bands. An entire galaxy of them. All of them wanted to be like him and Motorhead. Everyone from Metallica to Inepsy. Imagine a world without Motorhead and I'll show you a world without punk music. It doesn't happen without them. 

In September, Lemmy infamously and sadly declared "I can't do it" onstage during a performance because his body couldn't physically handle the strain from playing anymore. We knew the end was coming then. Studies have shown that when a man's wife dies, he typically doesn't last much longer after. A lot of factors are attributed to this, but the major one is simply the man just loses the will to go on. Lemmy's first love in life was music. While he didn't give it up exactly, it wasn't the same. His body had finally betrayed him and quit at 69 years old. Three months later, he was gone.

I'm sitting here and I'm struggling with the death of a 70 year old British man I never met. That sounds really stupid, doesn't it? For a lot of us, a lot of you who read this, and for a lot of you who know me, you understand that it's more than that. The small rooms we crowd into, the bad decisions we make, the friends we keep, the way we dress... it is all more than that. Lemmy Kilmister wasn't another rocker. He wasn't another musician. He's the guy who helped build all of this. He's the one that showed us the way. A lot of people say "Lemmy is God" because Steve Buscemi said it in a movie once. Most of them will never really understand what that truly means. Lemmy is gone, but he will never die because gods don't die.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

X-Japan

I want to preface this with a few things. First of all, this is my first time writing anything in depth since I was still in school, about 15 years ago, and its terrifying. Secondly, there are people out there that could write an encyclopedia on X-Japan, and I am not one of them. There is so much information out there about them, and so much documentation of every little thing that they did, from every song at every gig ever played, to the exact guitar Hide or Pata used at each gig and so much more. Anything that I could write will not be as thorough as others could write, but I hope to touch on a few things that many of these X-fanatics tend to overlook. Not because of their lack of knowledge about the band, but because most of them don't come from a hardcore punk background. There are a few other punks in America that have been into this stuff way longer than me, have much more impressive collections, knowledge of bands, and general knowledge of the whole scene. I'm not claiming to be a pro on any of this. Just a fan wanting to share some of the reasons all this stuff became so interesting to me. I think its actually amazing music and would hope to turn a few people on to listening to X and some similar bands. People like Thomas, Caiazzo, Tommy and many more were jamming this stuff way before I ever took the time to look into it, and I just wanted to give respect where its due.

A quick biography of the band...Drummer and founder Yoshiki started playing music at a very young age. He was a classically trained piano player and began music theory lessons at the age of four. After discovering Kiss and other American hard rock bands, he decided to switch to drums. His father committed suicide, something that he witnessed, and he stated that event in his life lead him to want to play fast and aggressive music, which fueled many records to come. He started his first band, Dynamite, in 1977 alongside future X singer Toshi. Dynamite would eventually change its name to Noise, and finally break up in 1982. That same year, Yoshiki and Toshi started X. They released two singles, 1985's "I'll Kill You", and 1986's "Orgasm".The latter is considered by many as one of the best Japanese metal records ever. After many inconsistent lineups, with the only stable members being Toshi and Yoshiki, they finally solidified the full band in 1987 with Toshi on vocals, Yohsiki on drums, Pata on guitar, Hide on guitar, and Taiji on bass. This lineup would begin to play out regularly, selling out many of Japan's larger live houses. This "indies era" is considered the best X era by many fans. The gigs were raw, energetic and they quickly became one of the biggest bands in Japan's underground scene. In August of '87, at a gig at the Kyoto Sports Valley (my favorite X show ever, the whole thing is on YouTube, go watch it now), they released their first VHS, a format that the band would continue to use throughout their career, and something that helped their sales immensely between album releases. 

A year later, in 1988, they would self-release their first full length album, Vanishing Vision, on drummer Yoshiki's own label, Extasy Records. The first press of 10,000 sold out within a week, and over time they would sell close to a million copies. A year later they signed to CBS/Sony and released their second album, Blue Blood. With the release of this record, they became one of the biggest bands in Japan, selling out massive venues and becoming huge celebrities in their country. They would release three more studio albums, a handful of VHS, and many CD singles before their initial break-up in 1997. The band sold out the 55,000 capacity Tokyo Dome eighteen times, making them one of the few acts to ever sell it out, alongside the Rolling Stones and Michael Jackson. After their 1997 split, they would take a ten year hiatus and reform in 2008, with Pata, Toshi and Yoshiki being the only members from the early days. A world tour and several international gigs would follow. The band is now planning to release its first studio album since 1996's Dahlia on March 12 of 2016, along with a massive gig at London's Wembley Stadium.

Not being Japanese, I can never fully understand the love (or hate) that millions of people have for this band. They were the biggest rock band in Asia for over a decade, and continue to play giant international shows, including recently selling out Madison Square Garden, a show that I was fortunate enough to attend. It's insane to me that a band can become so big, and so famous somewhere in the world, and be virtually unknown elsewhere. Everyone in the world knows Green Day, but ask anyone in the USA who X-Japan is and 9.9 times out 10 they will have no idea who you're talking about. Their fame in Japan is like something you would see in a movie. I recently saw a video of Yoshiki talking about how much he likes living in LA part time, because when he's in Japan he can't go into public without being mobbed by people. In the same interview he said he was talking with his friend, David Bowie, about how he deals with this and how hard it is. When they were recording their fourth album, The Art of Life, Yoshiki really wanted to record in a studio called One on One in Hollywood. He was told that the studio had the best drum sound in the world. This other band called Metallica had the studio booked for almost a year straight to record The Black Album and Yoshiki was pretty much laughed at for wanting to record there, being an unknown foreign artist in America. So he turned around and bought the studio and they recorded The Art of Life there. They were that kind of famous.

I first heard them when I was in high school. A friend of mine had a DVD of theirs and all we could talk about while we watched it was how big their hair was. I don't even remember what the songs were, or if I even liked what I heard. It's kind of a blur. I remember there being a piano, lots of blood, roses, and I was just shocked by how they looked (fitting considering their slogan, "Crime of Visual Shock"). For a few years, I had the name burned into my head, but never really gave them a listening chance. It wasn't until I went to Japan for the first time that I really started paying attention. My first trip there I was surprised that so many people I met listened to this band. And it seemed like everyone's house I went to had stacks of VHS, books, CD's, etc. I began looking into them and realized that the music really clicked with me. It was completely different than anything I was into at the time, but as soon as Blue Blood kicked in on my first listen, I was hooked. Right around the time I got back from that first trip, Thomas had just released a new issue of Evil Minded Zine with the whole issue dedicated to visual kei and Japanese metal. This became my bible for a bit. The whole world was new to me, and having accessible information via his zine really opened up the door for me to find some of the music that has become my favorite ever. I owe him a big thanks for that.

Something that really caught my attention in his zine was the mention of a band called L.O.X., which stands for Lip Cream, Orange, X. This was a crazy collision of worlds for me, and suddenly everything started to make sense. L.O.X. (originally called Masami and LOX) was a project band featuring Naoki from Lip Cream/The Comes on guitar, Yoshiki from X-Japan on drums, Act from Orange/S.K.V.(Sakevi of GISM's side project) on bass, and originally Masami from Ghoul on vocals. After Masami ended up in a coma in '89, they released an album entitled Shake Hand with different vocalists on each track. Among these singers were Toshi from X-Japan, Ishiya from Death Side/Forward, Butaman from Tetsu Arrei, and even Naoki from Lip Cream sings a song. There's also a live video with Tokurow from Bastard on vocals! There were a few other vocalists, but we'll keep it at these for the sake of this article. The album was released on CD and LP format and put out on the infamous S.E.X./Sunshine Sherbert label that also gave us the first Tetsu Arrei LP. When I first read this, I knew that I had to start digging deeper. Here was this band, X, that I was becoming obsessed with, and their members shared a project with some of the most legendary Japanese hardcore personnel ever. L.O.X. is kind of surrounded in mystery though. On the album, Yoshiki goes under an alias instead of his real name. Many believe because this was shortly after X had signed with a major label, and he was under contract to not release any material with another label. His face is even blurred out on the band photo. This always confused me though because Toshi is listed on the CD, and his picture is on there as well. Maybe Yoshiki was just being mysterious, or maybe he had some deal with ownership to the X rights that we don't know about it. Either way, the album is a ripper, its pretty easy to find and there's a few YouTube videos out there. There is some video of them performing with Masami very early on, but its hard to find.

Shortly after discovering L.O.X., on a hunt for more information relating X to the punk scene, I noticed that X drummer and founder Yoshiki ran the famous Extasy Records. While most of their releases were of up and coming bands tied to the visual kei scene, looking at the catalog I saw that the second release on the label was Poison's 1986 Mystery Temptation EP. For those that don't know, Poison (later called Poison Arts) was Chelsea's first band before Death Side. If you haven't heard it you need to, and I'd suggest starting with the flexi, this EP on Extasy, or the Kick Rock 12". Also on Extasy Records, in 1990 was an awesome band called Virus. While their music was more thrash metal, their bass player Noboru was in another band called Ogreish Organism, who had a ripping CD in 1993 on the legendary Selfish Records. Chelsea also played guitar on about half the songs on this CD (while the other half of the guitar tracks were done by Zigyaku from Bastard/Gudon). Also in this band was Minoru, bassist of The Comes/Lip Cream and more recently Color Rice Men and Eiefits. As you can see, both the metal and hardcore scenes were very intertwined at times. It makes sense, as some of these original Burning Spirits bands had such amazing guitar work, and definitely had a metallic feel from time to time. Speaking of Chelsea, in January of 1989, he, alongside Ishiya, Butaman, Baki from Gastunk, and a handful of others entered CBS Sony Roppongi Studio in Tokyo to sing back up vocals on X's first major label release, Blue Blood. The album would sell more than 700,000 copies initially, be certified gold, and spend more than 100 weeks in the Japan Oricon Top 100 charts. A year later is when L.O.X. would record their only album. The connection and friendship seemed to last through all the years when X was growing in popularity. Even on their Dahlia LP, which was their final studio album before their initial break up and a complete removal from their thrash/speed metal roots, as well as being certified gold selling more than half a million copies and topping the Japan charts for 15 weeks, they still thank Tetsu Arrei and Death Side on the album.

When I initially started looking for X's connections to punk, it seemed to be mostly through Yoshiki and Extasy Records. Talking with members of some of the original Burning Spirits bands, I learned that he was an old friend of a lot of those guys, and was involved in the punk scene in one way or another. Which makes sense after learning about all the stuff I've mentioned so far. I heard a couple stories about him from some of these older guys. One of which that Yoshiki's infamous hair, half spiked up/half long flowing locks, was just a mere mistake. He was on his way to a punk gig in Tokyo, and he was doing his hair (either on the way or before he left) and didn't have time finish it. He only got halfway through, and that look just stuck with him and became iconic. Its even become the silhouette of his Hello Kitty character, Yoshikitty. But I wondered if he was the only member of X that had connection to the punk scene and if he just invited his friends to sing backups on Blue Blood or where else a connection was made. Then I learned of the origins of Hide.

Although not an original member, Hide quickly became X's biggest celebrity. He joined on second guitar before the recording of their first full length, Vanishing Vision, and ended up being a major force of the band until they initially split in 1997. He also enjoyed more success as a solo artist, both at the same time and after X's split, than any other member. His fame was cut short in 1998 after his death, a questionable suicide or autoerotic asphyxiation gone bad. His death was dubbed the end of Japanese teenage rebellion by the press, and his funeral procession, which can be seen on YouTube, is comparable to something you would've seen for a king or someone of that importance. There were approximately 50,000 people in attendance at his funeral, and nearly 60 were hospitalized and close to 200 were treated on scene for self-inflicted injuries. The scene at the funeral was crazy with young fans literally throwing themselves over the barriers and onto the street, bashing their faces into the pavement as his hearse passed by them. There were also a string of copycat suicides. It was a national phenomenon when he died. It shocked the country and changed the face of pop culture in Japan forever. I'm telling you all this to illustrate just how big his celebrity was. I don't know who to compare him to in American popular music, because I can't think of a single mega-celebrity in America who had that much influence on culture, but also played on records with legends on the same level as Ghoul, Lip Cream and City Indian. 

This band is called Saver Tiger (originally called Saber Tiger and later known as Yokosuka Saver Tiger). This was Hide's first band, formed in 1981. They played a fair amount of live gigs and released an 8" flexi in 1985 (#1 want list item). The next year they contributed two tracks to the Devil Must Be Driven Out By Devil compilation from Hold Up records. The guitar playing on the record, especially the song "Dead Angle", has some serious Burning Spirits feel to it. In my opinion, these are some of the best Hide riffs ever. In 1987, Saver Tiger would break up and Hide would think to stop playing music all together. Shortly after this, Yoshiki asked him to join X and the rest is history. Although he didn't contribute too much songwriting to X's catalog (Yoshiki wrote about 98% of their material, guitar parts, lyrics, composure of songs, etc), a Saver Tiger song he wrote called "Sadistic Emotion" was taken for X, changed to "Sadistic Desire", and became a staple song in their set for almost their entire existence. Not to mention, a fan favorite, and my favorite X song hands down. His solo stuff was more rock than anything. It was experimental and it was the 90's, so almost anything went. He collaborated with numerous famous American musicians, was friends with Marilyn Manson, and lived in LA for a while. There is a retrospect CD of the Saver Tiger stuff, called The Origin of Hide that you should be able to find online rather easily. Side note- (Two other members of Saver Tiger went on to join the band D'erlanger, who are worth a mention. Their demo tape, Birth of the Splendid Beast, is one of my top 3 Japanese metal demos, and their first EP, Girl, is an absolute ripping thrash metal release. They would later change their style to a more goth sound with the release of their first LP, La Vie En Rose and continue to make music through the 2000's.)

I haven't been able to find much on the other X members relating to the punk scene. It may be out there, or it may have just been Hide and Yoshiki. Pata, while an amazing guitarist, really lacked on the solo stuff. And his early bands were nothing of a great mention, at least on the relation to hardcore topic. Taiji was strictly metal, and after leaving X, joined the famous Japanese hair metal band Loudness, who had a bit of commercial success in America at the time. But regardless, X were more than a band. They created a cultural movement that shook the normality of Japanese society that can still be felt to this day. On my last trip to Japan I was able to visit Hide's grave in Yokosuka. It was an intense experience to say the least. Going there to pay homage to a guitar player that has influenced me greatly was powerful enough, and to go there with members of Disclose and Deceiving Society and see how much it meant to them was even more surreal. Something about X really clicked with a certain age group in Japan and those people, no matter what musical path they went down, still love them to this day. If you haven't heard them, take a minute to check out some of their stuff. The early demos and first two EP's are raw and awesome. Classic Japanese metal. The first 2 LP's are flawless in my eyes. The rest is open to conversation, I like it all, but many that I know do not. The first LP, Vanishing Vision, was self-released, and has sold roughly 800,000 copies since its release in 1988. Think about that next time your band is trying to push those 500 EP's you spent your summer working to pay for. We've all been there.

Included are the band's four full-length albums and a compilation of their singles.


- Jakke Sullivan